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Case #: 1713
Concern：
I have never had an orgasm. I have sex all the time and also masturbate when I can't have sex, and I have never been able to orgasm. It is making me really frustrated that I can't achieve an orgasm and the frustration keeps growing. Sometimes when I'm masturbating I will give up trying to have an orgasm because I will just get really fed up that I don't orgasm and just get tired of it. Is this normal? What am I doing wrong? All I would love to experience is an orgasm while having sex with my partner, that way we both experience a whole new level of pleasure at the same time.
Discussion：
I've honestly never met, or talked to any woman who's been able to reach orgasm through penetration alone. And I believe that's because only about fifteen percent of women are actually able to climax purely through penetration. The other eighty-five percent of us need a little more friction...Preferably on, and around the clitoral area.
For a long time I was also unable to reach orgasm with my sexual partners. This was very confusing at the time, because I knew I could have one. I had brought myself to orgasm many times over, but when I actually started having sex all I was left with was a the great big goose egg. It took a while to fully understand that unless my partner's actions mimicked the pleasurable moves that I put on myself, I would never experience an orgasm with another person. That's when it clicked! When I would pleasure myself I would put all of my focus on stimulating my clitoris. There was usually no form of penetration at all.
Be In-Tuned
This is essentially why I believe exploring our own bodies and masturbating is so important. If you truly know what it is that tickles your fancy, it will be easier to guide your significant other in the right direction. Otherwise, they might forever be left dancing in the dark, so to speak.
There are other possibilities that deal more in-depth with clitoral insensitivity of course. Some common causes include birth control use, an adverse reaction to medication, and vibrator damage.
Get Up And On
I find that the easiest way to really figure out what makes you tick is to experiment. Try everything! When you've hit the nail on the head, you'll definitely know it.
When it comes to having sex with someone other than yourself, I find that the best way to put the proper amount of pressure on the clitoris is to get on top of things...Preferably your man. Once in the frontward facing cowgirl position, lean slightly forward so that your clitoris is grinding against your partner's pelvic bone. To ensure an explosive orgasm, I would also recommend using a vibrating ring. It is very important for the woman to set the pace, when in this position and trying to reach orgasm. (SEE: Vibrating Cock Ring for Enhanced Orgasm Pleasure) I have personally found that the jack-knife method does not work at all, but slow and steady always wins the race.